Amanda accuses Ella of embezzlement on Melrose Place.
Blinded by the Blondes
March 30: Jonah (Michael Rady) plans a big party in the Melrose courtyard to celebrate the sale of his script. Little does he realize his shindig will be the site where some long-simmering secrets will come to a boil. David (Shaun Sipos) is still trying to find out why Lauren (Stephanie Jacobsen) dumped him, but she’s not confiding in anyone, not even Ella. Michael (Thomas Calabro) makes things worse for Lauren by pressuring her into making good on their aborted “date.” In what has to be the blondest episode of Melrose to date, several original Melrose Place residents make return visits. Guest Blonde Jane Andrews (Josie Bissett), still steaming over Resident Blonde Ella’s switcheroo of her designer gown on a movie star at a movie premiere in the fall, demands to know why Bitchy Blonde Amanda has yet to fire her from WPK. Amanda (Heather Locklear) assures her that Ella will soon get her comeuppance. At Coal, David is preparing to cater Jonah’s party when New Blonde Morgan (Melissa Ordway) surprises him with a watch she stole from her mobster dad. When David tries to squirm out of her eager come-ons, she tightens the collar around his neck by threatening to tell her scary pop about David’s theft of her mom’s diamond ring. The girl gives new meaning to the term demanding. Drew (Nick Zano) convinces Riley (Jessica Lucas) to help him shop for toys for the pediatric patients at the hospital and charms her slowly but surely. Jonah’s not sure he likes what’s developing between the two.
At WPK, Ella (Katie Cassidy) notices that some billing figures on her accounts aren’t adding up correctly and starts checking up on her projects. Dropping in on Jo Reynolds (Daphne Zuniga) during a photo shoot for W Magazine, she learns that a check to Jo was overstated by ten times in the WPK books! Is someone framing Ella for embezzlement? Speaking of Amanda (wink, wink), the Empress of WPK tries a new tack in tracking down the artwork that may dig her out of the money hole she’s in. Hoping to loosen lips among the Melrosers, she generously tips the bartender at Jonah’s party to give the guests especially potent drinks while she pumps them for information one by one. Her plan works better than expected as Melrosers past and present overindulge in bad behavior. Jonah challenges Drew to a game of beer pong and the inebriated duo end up duking it out over Riley in the Melrose pool (where else?). A reunion of original residents Jo, Jane, Michael and Amanda is a tepid affair. “Let’s do it again in ten years,” says Amanda. Let’s not. At least Jane is smart enough to reject a horny Michael, who stalks Lauren so relentlessly that she breaks down and confesses her hooking career to her neighbors. David is aghast. Ella, meanwhile, confides in Amanda that she thinks there’s an embezzler at WPK and later overhears Jo confronting Amanda about being the culprit. Amanda interrupts Morgan’s latest mauling of David to pump him for more information about Sydney’s missing art and he gives her a new lead: Syd gave one of her pieces (among other things) to Auggie. The next morning, Lauren confesses her love to an unresponsive David while Drew sneaks into the hospital morgue to slice into a rather handsome cadaver (this is the CW Network, after all). Organ harvesting, anyone? Amanda summons Ella to WPK and lowers the boom on her by accusing her of embezzlement. Ella had better think of something quick, because, as Amanda puts it, “You, my dear, do not have the curves to pull off a prison jumpsuit.”
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